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Der Unter Zwerg
 
PostPosted: Mon, Feb 06 2017, 3:56 AM 



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Joined: 29 Dec 2016

::The following newspaper would find itself spread all over the island and on most public boards, including Bendir Dale, Cordor, Kohl, Fortress Wiltun, Tarkuul, Amia Forest, and Kampos::

Top Stories TonightWharftown! A masked bandit has once again made off with several million gold, stolen from residences and adventurers. This modern-day thief-of-legend has left her call-sign, a small lock of red hair, behind! Wharftown authorities were not willing to comment.

Scandal in Kohlingen, as two ranking "silver dragon" guards were caught engaged in a passionate embrace under the Shrine of the North Wind, while on duty, leaving the gates unguarded for nearly half an hour. Due to the lewd nature of this incident, the Amia Monthly Newsletter will not be publishing their names.

Hushed whispers have been heard in Guldorand, as a dozen or more individuals have been seen clandestinely entering the old castle by the coast. The only evidence collected was a large black pearl clutched in an ebony gauntlet, left behind and clearly intended to be found.

The property known as "Ruin Hill" is once again in a state of transition. The Wizard known as Kilmar Urien has bought the land, and according to court records, plans to erect a 'Wizard Tower' on the site. Made of glass, marble, and topped with a sphere of suspended quicksilver to aid in calling and creation magic, this 'magic beacon,' once complete, will be the talk of Amia Isle. Estimates put the time of completion by the end of summer.


News From A BroadGreetings readers, it is I, Viola E, with this months 'News From a Broad.' Up first, why the Grove of course! Two eligible bachelors have been seen lamenting their lack of love while perched upon the bridge in the forest. Dark hair and bright eyes, a couple of hunks! And you know what they say about a man that can swing a sword! Watch out ladies, two new 'lions' are on the prowl!

In other news, a quick treat! No bake cookies! The fastest way to a mans heart is through his stomach, after all!

1 cup butter
2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup chocolate-hazelnut spread
3 cups rolled oats

Line an 8-inch baking dish with foil.

Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir sugar, vanilla extract, and salt into the melted butter; bring to a boil and cook and stir until the sugar dissolves.

Medium heat; add the peanut butter and chocolate-hazelnut spread. Cook and stir until smooth, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add the oats; stir to coat evenly. Dump the mixture into the prepared baking dish; spread into an even layer using a spatula or spoon.

Allow the mixture to cool completely, at least 30 minutes. Remove from baking dish, lifting by the foil. Cut into bars to serve.

Delicious!

~V


Travel-Advertisement-

Imagine a world where it's always beautiful, where no ball-game is ever called due to rain, and where magic itself hangs in the air. Imagine a world of free-trade, world-famous craftsmen, and thousands of investment opportunities line the streets. A city where you can bring your family, that has the best magical apprenticeship education program in the known world, the highest standard of living,* and the best security possible.

Thay, it's our home, it can be your home too.†


-Advertisement-


Opinion; Tempus, the God of... whose wars?It is no lie that the local "War Knights" (If they can even be called 'local,' as their castle is far away on Ostland yet the Warlord spends all her time in the Halfling Village) are quite bias, and ineptly led. The current Warlord does, essentially, nothing to keep her position, nothing to train her troops, and everything to remain a social butterfly. The War Knights are soft, as an agency dedicated to the God of War and the Lord of Battle, they manage to do almost none of either. They do not train, do no battles, and have few members of note.

The organization itself is a parody of itself. Dedicated to 'strategy' but disallows items and techniques when 'sparring.' Claims to uphold the neutrality of Tempus yet acts more as if they were an extension of Kohlingen. Indeed, they hold themselves to a 'moral right' instead of true spirit of 'battle' that the Foehamer demands, a God that sponsors warriors evenly on both sides of all conflicts.

Perhaps it is time for a rebranding.


Letters to the EditorI have a young child I am currently caring for, and I am concerned that, with the recent rise of necromancy, she may, herself, learn to become a necromancer, but not the kind that I am. I am afraid she may be unable to discern 'white' from 'black' necromancy, and despite living in the 'Holy City,' I have seen her talking to some folk I would rather not see her speaking with at all. What do I do?

-A concerned mother


Thank you for taking the time to write, Concerned. Remember that children will always, inevitably, choose their own path. As a caretaker, or even a parent, it is your job to steer them onto the path you want, but should they pick another way, it is your job to be supportive and encouraging, whatever that path may be. Who knows? Perhaps they may teach you a thing or two about yourself in the process. In short, encourage her to do as she wishes, not as you wish, and aid her when you can.

-Editor


PersonalGiving away; Bumper-pool table, presently it emits a minor negative energy aura. Talk to Hojo in Tarkuul to claim.

Lost Cat; Grey male calico cat, visually distinct as is missing an ear and an eye, and has three legs and uses a small wagon and harness rigging to get around. Responds to "Lucky." Report to Bendir Dale to claim.

FOUND; Small white dog. Answers to "Bosco." Found in Tarkuul, it has begun to emit a minor negative energy aura. Come to the Castle to claim.

To the sweet little moon-elven girl,
I see the way you play.
Oh how you spin and bounce and turn,
As if every action were a ballet.
And as you twirl in that short skirt,
With your endowments on full display,
I know you wish I will lock eyes with you
And hold you tight as you begin to say...

Alas, you cannot take the hint, girl
For I am still quite gay.

-H


To the man who told me there was a "Skeleton" inside me "right now," I apologize for not understanding your joke. It was not until I got home and discussed it with a friend did your humor become clear. I apologize for having a conniption fit in public.

-S


Qf7, Mate. I have it again.

~Jenna


Missed ConnectionsTo the man I prayed with by the Shrine of Valkur; I will return tomorrow. I wish to see more of you.

A short message to the fine lass I saw headed to the Dale; I apologize for throwing you off my cart, but there were bandits afoot. It was not until I arrived that I was told you were a half-dragon wizard.


Community EventsThe First Annual Prank War is on in the Dale! Points are awarded for each successful prank preformed against the current Mayor, Rosary! Points will be tabulated by the 15th of next month!


CreditsAaron A. Adoms - Chief Editor

Viola E - Writer
Fly C - Writer
Jason H - Writer
Bort C - Editing
Elron B - Writer


Copyright 1385, Amia Monthly Newsletter.


*Living includes undeath as a legally defined state of 'living.'
†Citizenship requires an oath of loyalty to the Zulkir's who keep us safe and fed and wealthy.


Last edited by Der Unter Zwerg on Sun, May 14 2017, 5:17 AM, edited 1 time in total.

 
      
PassionateShadow
 
PostPosted: Mon, Feb 06 2017, 4:07 AM 

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Joined: 07 Jun 2014

A set is collected by a winged man.

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❤ Amia is Fun Again! ❤
#GreenisNotACreativeColour

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"It's easy to feel like a hero. It's a little harder to be one."


 
      
Riley
 
PostPosted: Mon, Feb 06 2017, 4:33 AM 

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Joined: 29 Oct 2015

With several horse sized dire wolves to scare off anyone selling the newspapers, any left in the forest are picked up by a small elven ranger and heads off to the Grove with them..

" Anyone need kindling for a fire?"

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LeathanKayne
 
PostPosted: Mon, Feb 06 2017, 5:01 AM 

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Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada

[Copies in Kohlingen and anywhere around Tristrom's path or the Minmir bridge find themselves promptly removed by a old fast monk.]

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OpenTheRift
 
PostPosted: Mon, Feb 06 2017, 17:07 PM 

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Joined: 17 Feb 2014

Sana Veskin enjoys the tabloids, with a pipe in hand as she munches a breakfast sponsored by Kampo's.

"Hey Kampo maybe you should try this recipe I'll snag the ingredients too."

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2017 edition
toxic, aggressive, bitching and taunting and generally snappy and negative to everyone


 
      
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