Most servers I have played on over the years, the most successful builds are either high DC casters, DevCrit high AB fighter types, rediculous AC / epic dodge builds, or shadowdancers with epic hide and move silent (blink halflings).

Is it possible to build a balanced toon which does everything somewhat well -vs- having to focus on just one thing, and still be able to kill mobs that give more than 10 XP per kill?

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You don't have to be a ridiculous build to do well. As long as you're a decent player and you don't make something really horrible you'll be just fine.

That said, some places are designed for parties.

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a.k.a. Audrey Zinata

You'll be fine. That said: This chatter is for the build topic.

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Davion Telemos - Monk of the Four Winds
Korthan Isharnos - Dragon Shaman of Thunder Spirit Zamasham