AMIA ARCHIVE • View topic

All these posters are now removed.

*A mighty man wearing an obsidian armor and a powerful helmet bearing two deadly blades on each side of it reads the propaganda while in Triunvir and releases a deep breath*

A new wife to satisfy my lusty desire without the need of capturing or torturing her ? Sounds boring... but I could torture her late as well, yes. And by the "excitement of a random date" would be the same as I got at the road or outside Kohlingen? I could give it a try... perhaps I could find me a sweet paladin or maybe a druid... *sadistic smile before heading out*

A half orc with strong human genetics and facial tatoos sees the notice in the nomad and lowers his head and says to himself

I already pay for release, I will never pay for a friggan date especially after how the last one went

with a sigh he walks off towards the the shelter and his home to sleep some more

inprison666 wrote:

A half orc with strong human genetics and facial tatoos sees the notice in the nomad and lowers his head and says to himself

I already pay for release, I will never pay for a friggan date especially after how the last one went

with a sigh he walks off towards the the shelter and his home to sleep some more

Another half orc wearing colors of the Warknights sitting at a table at the nomad side comments..

"I feel your pain..."

then returns to paperwork

I would like to donate 5 corpses.
They are obedient, fresh, come in both genders, and
best of all - they do not say NO!

~ Nergal Kharadras

Quote:
<< BOO-HOO Your mother died Trades >>

Proudly presents:

Freshly exumated, hand picked and perfectly preserved cadavers,
straight from your local graveyard, now avalible for sale! Whether
you are a professional anatomist, a thanatologist, an undertaker
who would like to put them back to where you think they belong,
or you are a Kelemvorite corpse shagger just feeling lonely
matters not:

Meet your needs or supprise your loved ones with an original gift!

Why get your hands and boots muddy when there are people who enjoy
doing this for you? For a minimal price of 4999 gp. per body order today
your very own, personal corpse!

*Special ripoff for Kelemwhorites

Last edited by The1Kobra on Sun, Nov 18 2012, 20:38 PM, edited 1 time in total.

Dead wrote:

I would like to donate 5 corpses.
They are obedient, fresh, come in both genders, and
best of all - they do not say NO!

~ Nergal Kharadras

If this note is put in the Triumvir, a certain kobold rips it down. Muttering to himself things like "Artless garbage" and "Violent Madmen"...

Similarly, any such "inappropriateness" is swiftly removed in Cordor.

Last edited by Bini on Fri, Nov 23 2012, 20:32 PM, edited 1 time in total.

Whilst incessantly following Marcus about Cordor whilst he goes about his guard duty, Lilia would spot one of the inappropriate articles and point at it while making the following exclamation:

"I-I don't even have that m-much money!"

All the posters are neatly brought back to their place,
when nobody's looking, and they keep reappearing in different,
unexpected places each time they are torn..

Evidently, whomever in the Triumvir isn't amused, or thought the following was amusing. Either or really, because the next notice is quite viciously vandalized.

Dead wrote:

I would like to donatemurder 5 soon to be corpses.
They are obedient, not fresh at all, come in both genders, and
best of all - they do not say NO! Or anything else for that matter.

~ Nergal Kharadras

Quote:
<< BOO-HOO Your mother died Trades >>
(The image is thoroughly vandalized, adding a jester's hat to it in an extremely silly fashion)
Proudly Shamelessly, because no one with any sense could be proud of this presents:

Not so Freshly exumated, hand picked and perfectly preserved completely unpreserved cadavers,
straight from your local graveyard randomly murdering people for no reason, now avalible for sale! Whether
you are an utterly deranged madman like myself, who should really spend the rest of his life in a mental health ward, unprofessional anatomist, a thanatologist, an undertaker
who would like to put them back to where you think they belong,
or you are a Kelemvorite corpse shagger just feeling lonely
matters not:

Meet your needs no one actually needs these or supprise your loved ones with an original actually, it's not original at all. I'm a copy of just about every other villain with absolutely no personality or sense gift!

Why get your hands and boots muddy when there are people who enjoy
doing this for you? Because no one wants to deal with me, that's why. I'm repulsive in case you couldn't figure it out. For a minimal price of 4999 gp. per body order today
your very own, personal corpse! Actually, I just kill my customers. For no reason. It's part of the villain with absolutely no sense or personality bit.

*Special ripoff for Kelemwhorites

Quote:

Our Very First Date Auction!

The notice had caught Din's eye as she traveled through the lamp post array from the Nexus Falls to the Triumvir Courtyard.

Quote:

The Temple would like to offer an open invitation for all those interested in finding love...

She read it once and then again, focusing on the sentences that caught her interest and attention the most.

Quote:

...exactly ten seven spots open for the auction...

The Sun Elf frowned, looked around as if to check if anyone else had been watching her, then twisted her lips with uncertainty. Her golden eyes had stared at the notice for a few seconds longer before finally deciding to take it with her and contemplate on the matter later.

An elven looking young woman with a tail reads the notices in Triumvir, shaking her head when reading the one about corpses.

"All these lame corpse-humpers must be in real need of attention. Perhaps they should sign up for these dates."

A certain someone simply laughed at the attempt of "vandalization" and carried on,
feeling that the said mischievous work speaks enough for itself about originality and creativity.

These posters are refreshed with new ones that reflect the change in number of openings, as well as a disclaimer on the bottom. All of the vandalizing "corpse" posters are removed, but one is rolled up carefully and placed into her satchel bag, as she carries on her way.

Dead wrote:

All the posters are neatly brought back to their place,
when nobody's looking, and they keep reappearing in different,
unexpected places each time they are torn..

After some time, the cycle of the posters being removed and replaced is noticed. One final time, the ones in Cordor are removed from the ones placed by the Sunite. In a perhaps unrelated matter, a single letter is mailed.

Dead wrote:

All the posters are neatly brought back to their place,
when nobody's looking, and they keep reappearing in different,
unexpected places each time they are torn..

The staff of the Temple of Love keep watch for anyone putting up posters on or around the premises and samples are given to the Cordorian Guard. Any individuals wearing black robes, masks, or clothing or armour decorated with skull motifs or similar necromantic themes are scrutinized particularly closely and are asked to leave the premises. Anyone with obvious skeletal appendages is informed that they may not enter the building at all and guards from the post across the road may be summoned if such individuals persist.

They would notice a male human, hiding under the shroud of the night, replacing the said posters after
tossing a few glances about.. the man would be wearing black robes and a black hood.. and the only part
of his body that would be uncovered would be a pair of healthy and fleshy hands, as in the matter of a
fact there would be nothing that could indicate a skeleton appearance on the said culprit.

//I am sorry for the OOC but this needs to be said: For all those who are jumping to conclusions,
Lucius is not my only toon. So unless there is an IC indication that he was in Cordor in the past
few weeks (which he was not) and if there is an IC indication or direct accusation that he would bother
doing this petty joke, please don't jump to conclusions on an OOC basis. If I am mistaken, and you do
have IC indications, then I am sorry, and this OOC part should be ignored. Thank you.

PS If you have any OOC concerns, doubts or questions, feel free to PM me and keep the thread IC.

//For starts, it was never stated exactly a certain person anyone is looking for. If you're selling dead bodies, people are obviously going to stereotype that to a necromancer/pale master sort. I mean, your proposing to sell dead corpses...for sex, for godsakes. I don't believe any assumptions were made like "Oh, that's Lucius" because...really? How is a bunch of goodie Sunite's and Sharresan's suppose to know that?

As far as anything else, this has really gotten derailed and I would appreciate if you pull it back to the original post, and not make this about a necrophiliac orgy.

Thanks.

//Both of you keep it IC. If you have specific issues with something taking place IG, or suspected metagaming, PM it to a DM, don't post it in an IC thread. And don't post OOCly about IC content. What's posted ICly is posted ICly, so react ICly.

This will be the last of the OOC, period.

*Scratching some dried blood from her cheek while she reads the notices, Wren pauses at one in particular, leaning closer to inspect, dirty locks of hair tumbling from her shoulders. She pouts in consideration, rolling her gaze to one corner and shrugging her shoulders up high. "Oh heck, why not?" she grunts, and procures a stub of charcoal to sharpen with a fingernail and lick before she writes.*

Quote:

I'll help you fill one of your spots. I'm a young female elf who enjoys making men nervous. I hope you like smartass redheads!

~Wren

These posters are refreshed with new ones that reflect the change in number of openings.

A hooded elf could be seen writing a response in Triumvir, the only thing visible on his head would be his distingushing red hair.

Sign me up ya' ballywags! I'm 5'10, tanned, and the ladies love my horns. - Gorthod Wenthur

On the same day, another signature would be found in the same place, right under Gorthod's (alleged) post.

Shy, unassuming elf looking for a romantic partner. Loves books and making people uncomfortable. -Atool Ex'Vilador.

The Sunite would take down all the postings in the Nomad, Temple of Love, and Triumvir. After looking at the one from Gorthy, she shakes her head as rolls her eyes. "As. If." she'd say, tossing it aside as she looks upon the other. "Romantic partner..." she'd say, tapping her foot a bit, and then shrugging with an undecided look. "We'll see..."

*removed*

Who is online

removed